Chubbs....You took his hand....

http://www.golf.com/golf/tours_news/article/0,28136,1637374,00.html

Thursday

Evidently I'm a huge dork because I have a blog.


Whatevah, you know? Whatevah. You do what you like to do, I do what I like to do, ok?


RANDOM LINKS:
(note: this is a feature I may or may not post regularly)

Bricks Explode: The Top 10 Unintentionally Funny TV Intros

Dramatic Chipmunk - CollegeHumor video

The Gayest Moments in Music Article on Blender :: The Ultimate Guide to Music and More

Insane Karate Teacher - Danerd.com

YouTube - Scientists simulate jet colliding with World Trade Center

"Eh"

"Eh"

It's a response we've all heard before. You may expect to hear it when you ask someone if feel like getting Chinese food for dinner. You may expect ot hear it when you ask someone how they feel about Rocky III. You expect to hear it when you point out a s0-so looking girl at the bar and ask your buddy what he thinks of her.

Point is, "eh" is a common answer/cop-out for a lot of different questions. We've reached a point in our lazy society where we're not surprised when we get "eh" as a response to any question we may think to ask someone.

"How ya doin' there, Stanley?"

"Eh..."

"Oh. Still having problems with those anal warts?"

"Eh"

"Wanna go talk about it over a few beers and then beat up some midgets?"

"Eh"

It's almost as if people have become too lazy to say "I don't know," which is a whopping THREE TIMES as long, with the added stress of pronouncing actual words. But that's not my point. What I am trying to say is that there are very few times when you are shocked or taken aback or offended when someone replies to a question with "eh."


I had my first experience with "eh shock" last night. I was in bed with my girlfriend. She was tossing and turning a lot before mentioning that she wasn't tired and couldn't fall asleep. So I, naturally, being kind of "in the mood" anyway, broach the subject of partaking in consensual intercourse (not in those exact words). Her response: "Eh"

What a stomach punch to the ego that was. I almost couldn't believe it. No "I'm not in the mood" or "I don't feel well" or "I'm kinda tired." Just "eh..." And the way she said it, it was as if I had just asked her if she wanted to want to watch The Tonight Show. In its own strange way, it was incredibly insulting. I know she wasn't purposely trying to be mean about it. She merely chose her words poorly; which is something I'm sure we all have done.

Anyway, I managed to get over it and fall asleep. And I didn't even think about it this morning. Then I started thinking about it again and I was getting a bit ticked off to the point that I decided to dedicate a whole blog entry to it. You're welcome.

And yes, it's been a bit of a slow day at work.

A New Favorite Bar

"It's a really really small place. It doesn't get crowded. There's a pool table, a dart board, and that's about it. Oh, and people are allowed to bring their dogs. And the name of the place is The Druid's Keep."

That is what I was told about the bar I was going to last Friday night. As you can imagine, I wasn't exactly brimming with excitement about being brought along to a place like this. It was one of my girlfriend's friend's birthdays, and that is where he and his friends were going. I wasn't going to stay home, lest I look like a schmuck to my girlfriend's friends. (Inside fact: I have an inherent desire to be liked by people, especially those close to my significant other. It just makes life easier when they have a positive opinion of you.) So I decided to go, not at all expecting to enjoy myself in such a venue. The Druid's Keep??? Are you kidding me? Are we going to be drinking or playing Dungeons and Dragons?

So we roll up to the place and it doesn't look like much (click link above). Now I'm even less excited. But lo and behold, I walk in and the pleasantness hit me like an tidal wave of....pleasantness. The bar was bigger than I envisioned, and there was a good crowd, but by no means was it packed. There was one of those internet jukeboxes on the wall playing music at a moderate level so you didn't have to scream at the person next to you so they could hear you (I'll never understand why more bars don't do this). Then I see all the amenities: Photo Hunt machine, foosball, Golden Tee Live, pool, darts. This place had everything a cool bar needs. Plus they had some good beers on tap, including UFO Hefeweizen at only $4 a pint. I was also pleased by the $5 vodka Red Bull served in a pint glass.

As for the dogs, there was only one dog inside; the owner's husky. I love huskies. And this one was even cooler than most because it just kind of moseyed around the bar as if he were saying, "Hey. Having a good time? Yeah? Enjoying that beer ya got there? Ok, good stuff. See ya later."

Then you could go outside the bar to a fenced in backyard patio where there was some guy grilling free food (burgers, sausage, corn on the cob, chicken, etc.) It was almost like being at a frat house party, only way way way...way more awesome. There were two more dogs hanging out in the back, both pitbulls. And at one point the husky tried humping one of them. I don't care what anybody says; seeing a dog try to hump another dog (or any object, for that matter) is one of the funniest things that can ever happen. I was cracking up. After I saw that, The Druid's Keep officially won me over and catapulted itself into my Five Favorite Bars, among the likes of Bar A and Captain Hook's.

It is a safe bet that I will be returning in the near future.

Doubleshot Thursday

I live and work in the Philadelphia metropolitan area. This sucks for a lot of reasons (Eagles fans, Phillies fans, Flyers fans, etc.). But it also sucks because of 93.3 WMMR. This is the standard rock radio station in the area. Some of you who live in NJ may recognize this station. It sometimes comes in clearly on your radio dial if you're driving anywhere south of Interstate 195. Like most radio stations, they just recycle the same 30-40 songs EVERY...SINGLE...DAY. And if there's a new song that's "hot", they will proceed to play it once every 15 minutes. It's torture.

But Tuesdays and Thursday's are especially grueling. This is because Tuesday is "Twofer Tuesday" and Thursday is "Double Shot Thursday". What this means is that they pick an artist (usually one they play all the time anyway) and play two songs back to back. Now this wouldn't be so bad if they played GOOD artists. And every once in a blue moon, I'll luck out and hear two good songs from someone like The Who ("Baba O'Riley", "Eminence Front") or The Clash ("London Calling", "Lost in the Supermarket") or Bruce Springsteen ("Tenth Avenue Freeze Out", "Rosalita"). But like I said, those are few and far between.

What I usually get is back-to-back Bon Jovi or Breaking Benjamin or Nickelback. Freakin awesome! I can't describe how much I loathe Nickelback. Every time I hear them, I want to scream and flip my desk over in a fit of pure anger. It's almost unhealthy how furious I get when their putrid music enters my ear canal and moves up to my head where my brain says, "Wait...what's this????? This SUCKS."

But what may even be worse than hearing crappy songs by crappy artists is when they actually play good artists but play one or two shitty songs. This past Tuesday they played Pearl Jam and I felt a sense of relief anticipating some decent music. But then they play "Last Kiss" which is far and away the WORST song Pearl Jam ever produced. I don't understand why they still play that song on the radio. It was made to be intentionally bad as an indictment of the sad state of the music industry. Yet they still play it. I've never met a single person who says, "I kinda like that song." And if I ever do, I'll totally fight them.

Would it really kill WMMR (or any rock station who does this same sort of thing) to play two cool songs by cool musical artists? I mean come on. They know tons of people listen to this stuff at work. Does anybody really get amped up for the workday by hearing "The Man Who Sold the World" and "About a Girl" back to back? No. But can you imagine getting into work, starting on your first cup of coffee and hearing "And now music fans, here's a doubleshot of Iron Maiden," and then hearing "Two Minutes to Midnight" and "The Trooper". Oh man. I think my head would explode from awesomeness overload.

Anyway, I tried to combat the crappy radio by bringing my iPod into work and plugging it into my computer, but of course it doesn't have a firewire port. Freakin sweet.

DD, Hicks, Patron and Cornhole: The Story Of My Weekend

Happy Monday. Had a pretty good weekend. Friday night was the first of my girlfriend's two Going Away parties thrown by people at her office. Why is she having two? I guess they really like her. Anyway, being the good sport that I am, I offer to be her designated driver for the night. I figured that she wanted to go out and get wasted with her colleagues and who was I to stand in the way of that? I wasn't about to be like, "Hell no I won't DD! If I go out, I'm drinking!" No. That's not me. That's something her ugly loser ex-boyfriend (emphasis "ugly") (extra emphasis "loser") would do.

So I get out of work and meet them at a Mexican restaurant for dinner and a few drinks. Then they decide to go out to another bar afterwards, but my girlfriend wants to go home and change first. So we drive home where one of her friends/colleagues meets us and I drive both of them to this bar about 25 minutes away out in the middle of nowhere. It wasn't until I got to the bar that I remembered how much I hate being the designated driver. My last DD stint (several months ago when I was still living in southern California) ended with my car getting towed. Not only does it suck not being able to drink when you're at a bar, but it's absolutely excruciating not being able to get drunk when you're at a bar full of pickup truck-driving hillbillies and other various retards from the shallow end of the human gene pool. I really needed a few shots of jack, but was unable to do so.

And to make matters worse, my girlfriend started getting offended when I was making fun of said hillbillies. She took it as an affront to where she grew up and got quite upset with me. As far as I was concerned, I hadn't really done anything outlandish or out of line. At least I didn't think so. I didn't think it was too much of a reach to call the skinny 30 year old dude drinking Coors Light out of a can in the NASCAR t-shirt with the sleeves cut off, bad tattoos on both arms, shaved head, bad goatee, and messed up teeth a "hick". Nor did I think it was crazy to call the 45 year old guy with the dirty white t-shirt tucked into his Wrangler jeans, wearing white high-top Reeboks, who smashed his cell phone repeatedly into the bar until it was in four separate pieces before throwing it into the woods, a "stupid redneck." I was not making a blanket statement about everybody from that region. I was simply pointing out individuals and proceeding to make fun of them. That is all. And I usually do that whenever I go to a bar, no matter where it is.

Anyway, so that was Friday night. Saturday afternoon we went to a bbq which was fun. Crabs and shrimp were cooking on the grill, beers and margaritas were free-flowing, the sun was shining, the pool was open, etc. It was good times all around. Someone actually bought three bottles of Patron over. For those of you who don't know, that's about $160 worth of liquor right there. Patron is basically the Mercedes Benz of tequila. It's freakin good. But some idiot actually used almost half of it to make margaritas. I don't know how the woman who purchased the Patron held herself back from sticking that guy's hand in the blender. I would have been super pissed if some shlomo used Patron that I bought in margaritas. But all was not lost. I still managed to get myself two shots, and thus, I was satisfied.

Anyways, at this bbq, I was introduced to a game called Cornhole. Don't worry, it's WAY less gay than it sounds. It's pretty much a cross between horseshoes and that huge tic-tac-toe game you played with the beanbags when you were a kid. Based on the way the game looked when it was set up, I expected to play for about 8 seconds before I got bored. But a strange thing happened after I started playing; I got hooked. I think there's something in the male brain that requires them to become addicted to any sort of game where you have to throw some sort of object and some sort of target, because I could have played that game all night. If I had the motivation...and a yard...I would totally build a set of my own.